For some, the holiday season really is the most joyous time of year. And that is great!
But for others, it can be really hard. It can be a painful reminder of people and stages in life we miss or it can be a time to think about where we thought we would be and are not, it can be a time filled with (too-) lofty expectations, or it can simpy be remarkably lonely. And, it can be simultaneously several of those things.
So, if you're not feeling all the joy you feel you should, don't be too hard on yourself. Accept that life can be especially trying at this time of year and take the pressure off yourself to live up to whatever image you have for yourself or are trying/ hoping to convey to others. Take a break (or time-out) when you need it, unapologetically. Be grumpy if you need to, and allow your loved ones the same grace.
Many people have no choice but to put on a good show this time of year for any number of totally legitimate reasons. It's so hard, and frankly, unfair. And, to make matters worse, the world in which we live bombards us (thanks especially to social media) with images of perfect families, happy get-togethers and picture-perfect homes. Intellectually we all (should) know those images and holiday cards don't represent a complete picture of reality. But it can raise the (emotional) bar for what we feel others expect from us or what we expect of ourselves, which adds to the pressure this time of year.
In case you need to hear this, I'm here to tell you that it's a-ok to be sad, to be grumpy, to not have a clean and tidy home when guests come over, to serve a meal which didn't turn out as you had hoped (laugh about that -- it happens to everyone and everyone can relate!), to not have bought or wrapped all those gifts you intended to. Those near and dear to you will not be offended or hurt. And if they are, screw them! Have someone (friend or professional) on speed-dial or nearby to whom you can vent/rant/cry or whatever you need. If you're having a tough time, own it and ask for help/support. Know that while most folks hide it, you are surrounded by others also having a tough go of things this time of year. In other words, practice self-care. Like they say on airplanes during the safety spiel, you need to take care of you(r air mask) before you (can) help others.
I, personally, find that venting/ compaining helps me cope when I feel down and when life feels too much to handle. But you know what also works (and is probably better for my and everyone's mental health)? I also find that thinking about how to achieve more happiness or satisfaction can help get us out of our ruts. Think about little things you can do as a way to start on the bigger hurdles which lie ahead.
After all, the new year is nigh, and it's not too soon to envision your ideal future -- be it for next year or for the next decade or whatever. While that ideal vision may not be realistic (at least in the near future), aspects of it certainly are -- concenrate on those tiny steps and hopefully you'll feel less alone and more hopeful this holiday season.
Wishing you all the most peaceful and happy holiday season possible this year.
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