I recently lost a good friend I had every intention to visit sometime soonish. We hadn't been in close contact, but that didn't matter -- including her (and her city) on an itinerary I've been noodling for a while now was a no-brainer. And now, obviously, it's too late. Because she lived across the country, and I waited too long, I am not close enough to her husband to help him get through this loss other than by sending him some meals (who knew Harry & David had prepared meals??). I procrastinated and feel terrible (for him and, selfishly, for me).
We all have things we want to do and places we want to go before we die. And we know that life and finances often get in the way, forcing us to postpone those plans. As a fatalist, I have long embraced the carpe diem model, and now I'm going to try even harder to get those to-dos/to sees scheduled. Since life doesn't slow down for anyone, I suggest we all work hard now to plan for our future -- both for the fun and the not-so-fun stuff.
THE FUN STUFF
Everyone has their own idea of what the fun stuff is that they are looking forward to doing/ getting around to doing "someday." For me, predictably, this is mostly centered on travel (and the food and culture which come with it) and, in fact, I happen to have a folder of trip itineraries already developed which I expect/ hope to take over the next 10-15 years. (No rush.)
While I am not suggesting you should be as hyper-planned as I am, I do recommend that you start planning your wish list now -- not just thinking about it -- because, as Benjamin Franklin said, “You may delay, but time will not.” And, since it has been proven that physically writing things down makes you more likely to internalize/ remember them, my recommendation is to make 2 lists -- one for easy/ currently feasible wishes and one for expensive/ more challenging wishes.
Easy/ Currently Feasible: Make this list of things near you which you've been assuming you'll get around to -- like visiting the World Trade Center if you lived in NYC or visiting nearby friends & family more often. Then sprinkle them into your calendar so you actually get to them!
Expensive/ Challenging: For the bigger reaches on your wish list, jot them down and then assign realistic timing for each item. Put reminders in your calendar NOW (as far as out as appropriate) so you won't forget to plan them. And, and if the timing doesn't work due to life situations, you can just push them into the future until they make sense (or de-prioritize them if need be).
By following this approach, if/ when life throws unexpected challenges your way and you are ultimately unable to fulfill something on your wish list, you can take comfort in knowing that it was not due to reasons like lack of planning, forgetfulness, or procrastination. Instead, you will recognize that there were significant factors involved, such as health, family, or financial constraints, and therefore, you won't feel disappointed in yourself for not achieving those dreams.
Remember, not doing things soon is not the same as procrastinating. Make your plan -- no matter how far out is realistic, and stick to it.
THE NOT-FUN STUFF
Folks have a tendency to procrastinate especially on the Not Fun Stuff, and I get it -- there's no fun payoff other than that the chores are no longer hanging over one's head. How you cope with the regularly occurring drudgery in your life is obviously up to you.
That said, when dealing with end of life chores, procrastination impacts others, and simply not dealing with them is pretty selfish in my opinion. If you want your final time on earth to be as peaceful for your loved ones as possible, you need to make sure they know what your desires are and where to find what they need to get everything settled. Fun? Absolutely not. Something I, personally, would regret not doing for them? Absolutely. And, since much of the Not-Fun Stuff is actually fairly quick and easy to accomplish, you can deal with that and get back to dreaming about & planning the Fun Stuff.
Most of the Not-Fun Stuff is pretty obvious. What's not so obvious, though, is how to deal with things you may not want people to find/ see after you're gone; and this is where a "shovel buddy" can be of immeasurable use. A shovel buddy is someone who will remove any and all embarrassing personal items from your home or computer that you do not wish family to see. If you are hoping to keep things from a surviving spouse, enlist a dear friend; if you're hoping to keep things from a child or other loved one, enlist your spouse (if you have one) or a trusted friend. Ensure that your shovel buddy has access to your home and computer, and let your loved ones know that you have asked this person to come help so there are no issues or hurt feelings. I cannot even describe some of the things I found and learned about my parents from going through their things which I wish a shovel buddy had removed... Start thinking about this now; trust me.
So, when you have a moment, or, better, when you MAKE a moment, take out your calendar, make some lists, and start adding things to the calendar to ensure they happen (or are not forgotten). I'd hate for anyone to be on their deathbed and regret not having done things which were feasible and would have brought peace, happiness, or fulfillment. Like not getting around to booking that trip to see a dear friend and then having it be too late.
In sum, procrastinate at your own peril and future regret. Or, as Pablo Picasso said, "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”
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