Roughly a year ago, I wrote about the importance of self-care during the holidays. While I was thinking of the end-of-year festivities then, I know this Thanksgiving is going to be extremely trying for many people. Simply put, there are still folks working through how to interact with those who do not feel the way they do regarding the recent US Presidential election.
So, if you're not feeling able to be agreeable this Thanksgiving, I'm going to offer the same advice I did last year: don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself the space and company (or lack thereof!) you need as you work through your issues. Sit out the holiday meal if you feel being there will make you uncomfortable or if you are thinking your company will bring others down. If you don't feel particularly thankful right now, that's ok. (If you're STILL not feeling very thankful in a month or so, maybe get some professional to work out some coping mechanisms.)
Many get-togethers have set a "no politics" rule for Thanksgiving this year as a way to manage emotions running high. And while that may work for many, or even most, it's not easy for some people, and downright impossible for others, to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room (er, in their head space). So, if you are hosting a traditional meal and some of the regulars -- loved ones -- don't come, please give them some grace and understanding. It's not easy for them to opt out of what have typically been happy get-togethers. Trust me.
And, if you are struggling right now, I'm here to tell you that you are not alone, and that it's a-ok to be sad, grumpy, angry, pessimistic, or whatever. You will get through this. Hopefully, those near and dear to you will not be offended or hurt in that healing process. And if they are, screw them! Find someone (friend or professional) to have on speed-dial or nearby with whom you can vent/rant/cry or whatever you need right now. And if need be, ask for help.
All of this is to say, practice self-care, however that may look for you. For some people, that means getting out and surrounding yourself with family and friends, and putting your troubles out of mind for a bit. For others, it means introspectively figuring out which people and activities offer some solace, and then pursuing them. I, personally, find that thinking about ways to make a difference can help get us out of our ruts (while recognizing it can be hard to figure out what those ways are). I know -- often easier said than done.
If you are side-stepping your typical Thanksgiving celebration, I know how hard that is for you, and I am sending you a virtual hug. If you are engaging in your typical Thanksgiving celebration, I wish you all the happiness and yumminess the holiday offers.
Let's be thankful for the grace and support of loved ones this Thanksgiving.
Peace out.
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